1.  Be nice.  I’m lovely so you should be too.

 

2. Let’s be really clear what you want at the outset.  I will communicate, it helps if you do too.

 

3. Once I commit to a booking you are my number one priority.  The only thing that takes precedence is death.  In the event of my     death, performance could be impaired and so I think it would be best for all if I withdraw from the booking.

 

4. Any other nastiness.  See number 3.

 

5. Once we have agreed a job and a rate, I consider that a deal.  Cancellation up to one month, no fee.  Within one week of the     work, 50% fee.  Within 48 hours, full fee.  Mutually agreed postponement will not affect cost unless it has incurred me expense     or caused me to cancel another job.

 

6. If you are unhappy with the performance or product for reasons which are my fault, expenses only will be charged.  You will     commit not to use the product or have any rights to the material.

 

7.  I would like to use non-sensitive production material for promotional purposes.  Please inform me if this is not acceptable.

 

8. Please pay me when you say you will.  This is my job, not a hobby.  Just because I enjoy it doesn’t mean it’s free.

 

9.  I assure you of absolute confidentiality of your material.  Consider a non-disclosure agreement already signed.

 

9.  There is no number ten.

It’s a shame that we have to have pages like these but unfortunately there are some people out there who don’t understand the principles of business.  

 

So here are my terms.